Women Must Develop Their Own Solutions

Women must be put in a position to solve their own problems in their own way. No one can or ought to do this for them. And our Indian women are as capable of doing it as any in the world."

CW: Vol.5: CW: Vol.5 Interviews; On Indian Women - Their Past, Present and Future (p229-230)

It iswrong, a thousand times wrong, if any of you dares to say, "I will work out the salvation of this woman or child." I am asked again and again, what I think of the widow problem and what I think of the woman question. Let me answer once for all -- am I a widow that you ask me that nonsense? Am I am a woman that you ask me that question again and again? Who are you to solve women's problems?

CW: Vol.3: Lecture From Colombo to Almora: Vedanta in its Application to Indian Life; (p.246)

Educate your women first and leave them to themselves; then they will tell you what reforms are necessary for them.

CW: Vol.6: Notes of Class Talks and Lectures: Notes Taken Down in Madras (p.115)

After that they will act as they think best.

CW: Vol.7: Conversation and Dialogues: From the Dairy of a Disciple; XVIII (p.218)

Women Must be Given an All-Round Education

Education,…. may be described as a development of faculty, not an accumulation of words, or as a training of individuals to will rightly and efficiently.

256 CW: Vol.5: Interviews; On Indian Women – Their Past, Present and Future (p.231)

What does our Manu enjoin? "Daughters should be supported and educated with as much care and attention as the sons." As sons should be married after observing Brahmacharya up to the thirtieth year, so daughters also must observe Brahmacharya and be educated by their parents. But what are we actually doing? Can you better the condition of your women? Then there will be hope for your well - being. Otherwise you will remain as backward as you are now.

257 CW: Vol.5: Epistles – First Series: VI (p.26)

The Hinduwomen are very spiritual and very religious, perhaps more so than any other women in the world. If we can preserve these beautiful characteristics and at the same time develop the intellects of our women, the Hindu woman of the future will be the ideal woman of the world."

CW: Vol.8: Notes of Class Talk and Lecture: Women In India (p.198)

Of course, they have many and grave problems, but none that are not to be solved by that magic word 'education'.

CW: Vol.5: Interviews; On India Women – Their Past, Present and Future (p.231)

Female education is to be spread with religion as its centre. All other training should be secondary to religion. Religious training, the formation of character and observance of the vow of celibacy -- these should be attended to.

CW: Vol.7: Conversation and Dialogues: From the Diary of a Discipline: XVIII (p.220)

"I look upon religion as the innermost core of education", said the Swami solemnly. "Mind, I do not mean my own, or any one else's opinion about religion. I think the teacher should take the pupil's starting – point in this, as in other respects, and enable her to develop along her own line of least resistance."

CW: Vol.5 Interviews; On Indian Women - Their Past, Present and Future (p.231-232)

To make a beginning in women's education: our Hindu women easily understand what chastity means, because it is their heritage. Now, first of all, intensify that ideal within them above everything else, so that they may develop a strong character by the force of which, in every stage of their life, whether married, or single if they prefer to remain so, they will not be in the least afraid even to give up their lives rather than flinch an inch from their chastity. Is it little heroism to be able to sacrifice one's life for the sake of one's ideal, whatever that ideal may be?

Ibid: Conversation and Dialogues: IV (p.342-343)

Ideal characters must always be presented before the view of the girls to imbue them with a devotion to lofty principles of selflessness. The noble examples of Sita, Savitri, Damayanti, Lilavati, Khana, and Mira should be brought home to their minds, and they should be inspired to mould their own lives in the light of these.

CW: Vol.6: Conversation and Dialogues: VIII (p.493-494)

"Revive the old arts. Teach your girls fruit - modelling with hardened milk. Give them artistic cooking and sewing. Let them learn painting, photography, the cutting of designs in paper, and gold and silver filigree and embroidery. See that everyone knows something by which she can earn a living in case of need.

CW: Vol.8: Saying and Utterances (p.275)

"in worship of the gods, you must of course use images. But you can change these. Kali need not always be in one position. Encourage your girls to think of new ways of picturing Her. Have a hundred different conceptions of Saraswati. Let them draw and model and paint their own ideas.

Ibid.: (p.274)

Along with other things they should acquire the spirit of valour and heroism. In the present day it has become necessary for them also to learn self - defence. See how grand was the Queen of Jhansi!

CW: Vol.5: Conversation and Dialogues: IV (P.342)

“And Never forget Humanity! The idea of a humanitarian man-worship exists in nucleus in india but it has never been sufficiently specialized. Let your students develop it. Make Poetry, make art, Of it. Yes a daily worship at the feet of beggars, after bathing and before the meal, would be a wonderful practical training of heart and hand together. On some days again, the worship might be of children, of your own pupils. Or you might borrow babies and nurse and feed them.

Ibid.: (p.275)

If the women are raised, then their children will be their noble action glorify the name of the country – then will culture, knowledge, power and devotion awaken in the land.

Ibid.: (p.220)

Women Must be Treated with Utmost Respect

All Nations have attained greatness by paying proper respect to women. That country and that nation which do not respect women have never become great, nor will ever be in future.

CW: Vol.7 Conversations and Dialogues: From the Diary of a Disciple: XVIII (p.215)

Manu, again, has said that gods bless those families where women are happy and well treated. Here men treat their women as well as can be desired, and hence they are so prosperous, so learned, so free, and so energetic. But why is it that we are slavish, miserable, and dead? The answer is obvious.

CW: Vol.5: Epistles – First Series: VI (p.26)

Do you know who is the real "Shakti - worshipper"? It is he who knows that God is the omnipresent force in the universe and sees in women the manifestation of that Force.

Ibid.

I now see it all. Brother, [(Sanskrit)]-"The gods are pleased where the women are held in esteem"- says the old Manu. We are horrible sinners, and our degradation is due to our calling women "despicable worms", "gateways to hell", and so forth. Goodness gracious! There is all the difference between heaven and hell!! [(Sanskrit)]-"He adjudges gifts according to the merits of the case" (Isha, 8). Is the Lord to be hoodwinked by idle talk? The Lord has said, [(Sanskrit)]-"Thou art the woman, Thou art the man, Thou art the boy and the girl as well" (Shvetashvatara Upa.). And we on our part are crying, [(Sanskrit)]-"Be off, thou outcast!" [(Sanskrit)]-"Who has made the bewitching woman?"

CW: Vol.6: Epistles – Second Series: XI (p.253)

The jealous guardianship of our women shows that we Hindus have declined in our national virtues, that we reverted to the "brutal state". Every man must so discipline his mind as to bring himself to regard all women as his sisters or mothers. Women must have freedom to read, to receive as good an education as men. Individual development is impossible with ignorance and slavery.

CW: Vol.9: Newspaper Reports: Indian Newspaper Report: A Bengali Sadhu (p.525-526)

Meet with women on the Grounds of Common Humanity

In the highest reality of the Parabrahman, there is no distinction of sex. We notice this only in the relative plane. And the more the mind becomes introspective, the more that idea of difference vanishes. Ultimately, when the mind is wholly merged in the homogeneous and undifferentiated Brahman, such ideas as this is a man or that a woman do not remain at all. We have actually seen this in the life of Shri Ramakrishna. Therefore do I say that though outwardly there may be difference between men and women, in their real nature there is none. Hence, if a man can be a knower of Brahman, why cannot a woman attain to the same knowledge?

CW: Vol.7 From the Diary of a Disciple (p.219)

"We should not think that we are men and women, but only that we are human beings, born to cherish and to help one another. No sooner are a young man and a young woman left alone than he pays compliments to her, and perhaps before he takes a wife, he has courted two hundred women. Bah! If I belonged to the marrying set, I could find a woman to love without all that!

CW: Vol.5 Sayings And Utterances (p.412)

When I look about me and see what you call gallantry, my soul is filled with disgust. Not until you learn to ignore the question of sex and to meet on a ground of common humanity will your women really develop. Until then they are playthings, nothing more. All this is the cause of divorce. Your men bow low and offer a chair, but in another breath they offer compliments. They say, 'Oh, madam, how beautiful are your eyes!' What right have they to do this? How dare a man venture so far, and how can you women permit it? Such things develop the less noble side of humanity. They do not tend to nobler ideals.

Ibid.

The Best thermometer to the progress of a nation is its treatment of its women. In ancient Greece there was absolutely no difference in the state of man and woman. The idea of perfect equality existed.

CW: Vol.8 : Notes Of Class Talks And Lectures Volume : Women Of The East (p.198)

the Aryans is the freedom of women. It is in the Aryan literature that we find women in ancient times taking the same share as men, and in no other literature of the world.

CW: Vol.9: Lectures and Discourses: The Women in India (p.192)

It is very difficult to understand why in this country so much difference is made between men and women, whereas the Vedanta declares that one and the same conscious Self is present in all beings. You always criticise the women, but say what have you done for their uplift? Writing down Smritis etc., and binding them by hard rules, the men have turned the women into mere manufacturing machines! If you do not raise the women, who are the living embodiment of the Divine Mother, don't think that you have any other way to rise.

CW: Vol.7 : Conversations And Dialogues: From The Diary Of A Disciple : XVIII (P.214)

Women are Equally Eligible for The Highest Knowledge

In what scriptures do you find statements that women are not competent for knowledge and devotion? In the period of degradation, when the priests made other castes incompetent for the study of the Vedas, they deprived the women also of all their rights. Otherwise you will find that in the Vedic or Upanishadic age Maitreyi, Gârgi, and other ladies of revered memory have taken the places of Rishis through their skill in discussing about Brahman.

CW: Vol 7: Conversations and Dialogues: From the dairy of Disciple: XVIII (p.214-15)

In what scriptures do you find statements that women are not competent for knowledge and devotion? In the period of degradation, when the priests made other castes incompetent for the study of the Vedas, they deprived the women also of all their rights. Otherwise you will find that in the Vedic or Upanishadic age Maitreyi, Gârgi, and other ladies of revered memory have taken the places of Rishis through their skill in discussing about Brahman. In an assembly of a thousand Brahmanas who were all erudite in the Vedas, Gargi boldly challenged Yâjnavalkya in a discussion about Brahman. Since such ideal women were entitled to spiritual knowledge, why shall not the women have the same privilege now? What has happened once can certainly happen again. History repeats itself.

 Ibid.: (p.215)

If even one amongst the women became a knower of Brahman, then by the radiance of her personality thousands of women would be inspired and awakened to truth, and great well-being of the country and society would ensue.

Ibid.: (p.219)

Studying the present needs of the age, it seems imperative to train some women up in the ideal of renunciation. So that they will take up the vow of life long virginity, fired with the strength of that virtue of chastity which innate in their life-blood from hoary antiquity. Along with that they should be taught sciences and other things which would be of benefit, not only to them but to other as well, and knowing thes they would easily learn these things and fell pleasure in doing so. Other motherland requires for her well-being some of her children to become such pure-souled Brahmacharins and Brahmacharinis.

Ibid.: (p.343)

By their example and through their endeavours to hold the national ideal before the eyes of the people, a revolution in thoughts and aspirations will take place. How do matters stand now? Somehow, the parents must dispose of a girl in marriage, if she he nine or ten years of age! And what a rejoicing of the whole family if a child is born to her at the age of thirteen! If the trend of such ideas is reversed, then only there is some hope for the ancient Shraddhâ to return. And what to talk of those who will practice Brahmacharya as defined above — think how much faith in themselves will be theirs! And what a power for good they will be!

CW: Vol.5: Conversation and Dialogues: IV (p.343)

The Ideal of Women as a Warrior

We come to another class of women. This mild Hindu race produces fighting women from time to time. Some of you may have heard of the woman [Lakshmi Bai, Queen of Jhansi] who, during the Mutiny of 1857, fought against the English soldiers and held her own ground for two years — leading modern armies, managing batteries and always charging at the head of her army. This queen was a Brahmin girl.

Ibid: (p.200)

A man whom I know lost three of his sons in that war. When he talks of them he is calm, but when he talks of this woman his voice becomes animated. He used to say that she was a goddess — she was not a human being. This old veteran thinks he never saw better generalship.

Ibid.

The story of Chand Bibi, or Chand Sultana [1546 - 1599], is well known in India. She was the Queen of Golconda, where the diamond mines were. For months she defended herself. At last, a breach was made in the walls. When the imperial army tried to rush in there, she was in full armour, and she forced the troops to go back.

Ibid.: (p200-201)

In still later times, perhaps you will be astonished to know that a great English general had once to face a Hindu girl of sixteen.

Ibid.: (p201) 

Women in statesmanship, managing territories, governing countries, even making war, have proved themselves equal to men — if not superior. In India I have no doubt of that. Whenever they have had the opportunity, they have proved that they have as much ability as men, with this advantage — that they seldom degenerate. They keep to the moral standard, which is innate in their nature. And thus as governors and rulers of their state, they prove — at least in India — far superior to men. John Stuart Mill mentions this fact.

Ibid.

Even at the present day, we see women in India managing vast estates with great ability. There were two ladies where I was born who were the proprietors of large estates and patronesses of learning and art and who managed these estates with their own brains and looked to every detail of the business.

Ibid

The India Ideal of Womanhood Womanhood is Personified

Sita! She is the very type of the true Indian woman, for all the Indian ideals of a perfected woman have grown out of that one life of Sita; and here she stands these thousands of years, commanding the worship of every man, woman, and child throughout the length and breadth of the land of Âryâvarta. There she will always be, this glorious Sita, purer than purity itself, all patience, and all suffering. She who suffered that life of suffering without a murmur, she the ever-chaste and ever-pure wife, she the ideal of the people, the ideal of the gods, the great Sita, our national God she must always remain.

CW: Vol 3: Lectures from Colombo to Almora : The Sega Of India (p. 255,256)

Sita is the name in India for everything that is good, pure and holy — everything that in woman we call womanly. If a priest has to bless a woman he says, "Be Sita!" If he blesses a child, he says "Be Sita!" They are all children of Sita, and are struggling to be Sita, the patient, the all-suffering, the ever-faithful, the ever-pure wife. Through all this suffering she experiences, there is not one harsh word against Rama. She takes it as her own duty, and performs her own part in it. Think of the terrible injustice of her being exiled to the forest! But Sita knows no bitterness. That is, again, the Indian ideal. Says the ancient Buddha, "When a man hurts you, and you turn back to hurt him, that would not cure the first injury; it would only create in the world one more wickedness." Sita was a true Indian by nature; she never returned injury.

CW:Vol 4: Lectures and Discourses: The Ramayana (p.76)

All children, especially girls, worship Sita. The height of a woman's ambition is to be like Sita, the pure, the devoted, the all-suffering! When you study these characters, you can at once find out how different is the ideal in India from that of the West. For the race, Sita stands as the ideal of suffering. The West says, "Do! Show your power by doing." India says, "Show your power by suffering." The West has solved the problem of how much a man can have: India has solved the problem of how little a man can have. The two extremes, you see. Sita is typical of India — the idealised India. The question is not whether she ever lived, whether the story is history or not, we know that the ideal is there.

Ibid: (p.75)

There is no other Paurânika story that has so permeated the whole nation, so entered into its very life, and has so tingled in every drop of blood of the race, as this ideal of Sita.

Ibid: (p.75-76)

Still on this sacred soil of India, this land of Sitâ and Sâvitri, among women may be found such character, such spirit of service, such affection, compassion, contentment, and reverence.

CW: Vol.6: Conversations and Dialogues: VIII (p.491)

Any attempt to modernize our women, if it tries to take our women away from that ideal of Sita, is immediately a failure, as we see every day. The women of India must grow and develop in the footprints of Sita, and that is the only way.

CW: Vol 3: Lectures from Colombo to Almora: The Sages of India (p.256)

We have no time to go over all the life of Sita, but I will quote a passage from her life that is very much suited to the ladies of this country. The picture opens when she was in the forest with her husband, whither they were banished. There was a female sage whom they both went to see. Her fasts and devotions had emaciated her body. Sita approached this sage and bowed down before her. The sage placed her hand on the head of Sita and said: "It is a great blessing to possess a beautiful body; you have that. It is a greater blessing to have a noble husband; you have that. It is the greatest blessing to be perfectly obedient to such a husband; you are that. You must be happy". Sita replied, "Mother, I am glad that God has given me a beautiful body and that I have so devoted a husband. But as to the third blessing, I do not know whether I obey him or he obeys me. One thing alone I remember, that when he took me by the hand before the sacrificial fire — whether it was a reflection of the fire or whether God himself made it appear to me — I found that I was his and he was mine. And since then, I have found that I am the complement of his life, and he of mine".

CW: Vol 9: Lecture and Discourses: The Women of India (p.195 – 196)

The Ideal of Woman As Mother

The idea women, in India, is the mother, the mother first and the mother last. The word woman calls up to the mind of the Hindu, Motherhood; and God is called Mother.

CW: Vol.8: Lectures and discourses: Women of India (p.57)

The idea of womanhood in India is motherhood – that marvelous, unselfish, all-suffering, ever forgiving mother. The wife walks behind – the shadow. She must imitate the life of the mother; that is her duty. But the mother is the idea of love, she rules the family, she possesses the family. It is the father in India who thrashes the child and spanks when there is something done by child, and always the mother puts herself between the father and child.

Ibid. (p58)

To the ordinary man in India, the whole force of womanhood is concentrated in motherhood.

Ibid. (p57)

It is unfair to judge women in the East by the Western standard. In the West, women is the wife ; in the East she is the mother. The Hindus worship the idea of mother, and even the monks are required to touch the earth with their foreheads before their mothers. Chastity is much esteemed.  

CW: Vol 3: Reports in America Newspaper: The Women of India (p.505)

In India the mother is the center of the family and our highest ideal. She is to us the representative of God, as god is the mother of the Universe. It was a female sage who first found the unity of God, and laid down this doctrine in one of the first hymns of the Vedas. (216)

CW: Vol.2: Reports in America Newspaper: Ideals of womanhood (p: 506)

The mother is the God in our family. The idea is that the only real love that we see in the world, the most unselfish love, is in the mother – always suffering, always loving. And what love can represent the love which we see in the mother? Thus the mother is the incarnation of God on earth to the Hindu.

CW: Vol.9: Lectures and Discourse: The women of India (p.202)

From motherhood comes tremendous responsibility.

CW: Vol.8: Lectures and Discourses: Women of India (p.60)

The Mother has to eat last.

CW: Vol.9: Lectures and Discourses: The Women of India (p.203)

The First part of the food – when it is ready – belongs to the guests and the poor, the second to the lower animals, the third to the children, the fourth to the husband, and last comes to the mother. How many times I have seen my mother going take her first meal when it was two o’clock. We took ours at ten and she at two because she had so many things to attend to.[for Example] some knocks at the door and says, “Guest”, and there is no food except what was for my mother. She would give that to him willingly and then wait for her own. That was her life and she liked it.

Ibid. (p.204)

As Children every day, when we are boys, we have to go early in the morning with a little cup of water and place it before the mother, and mother dips her toe into and we drink it.

CW: Vol.8: Lectures and Discourses: Women of India (p.57)

I have been told that either too much worship of the mother makes the mother selfish or too much love of the children for the mother makes them selfish. But I do not believe that. The love which my mother gave to me has made me what I am, and I owe a debt to her that I can never repay.

CW: Vol.9 Lectures and Discourses: Women of India (p.202 - 203)

In the West, the woman is wife. The idea of womanhood is concentrated there — as the wife. To the ordinary man in India, the whole force of womanhood is concentrated in motherhood. In the Western home, the wife rules. In an Indian home, the mother rules. If a mother comes into a Western home, she has to be subordinate to the wife; to the wife belongs the home. A mother always lives in our homes: the wife must be subordinate to her. See all the difference of ideas.

CW: Vol.8 Lectures and Discourses: Women of India (p.57)

Now, I only suggest comparisons; I would state facts so that we may compare the two sides. Make this comparison. If you ask, "What is an Indian woman as wife?", the Indian asks, "Where is the American woman as mother? What is she, the all-glorious, who gave me this body? What is she who kept me in her body for nine months? Where is she who would give me twenty times her life, if I had need? Where is she whose love never dies, however wicked, however vile I am? Where is she, in comparison with her, who goes to the divorce court the moment I treat her a little badly? O American woman! Where is she?" I will not find her in your country. I have not found the son who thinks mother is first. When we die, even then, we do not want our wives and our children to take her place. Our mother! — we want to die with our head on her lap once more, if we die before her. Where is she?

Ibid.: (p.57-58)

Is woman a name to be coupled with the physical body only? Ay! the Hindu mind fears all those ideals which say that the flesh must cling unto the flesh. No, no! Woman! thou shalt not be coupled with anything connected with the flesh. The name has been called holy once and for ever, for what name is there which no lust can ever approach, no carnality ever come near, than the one word mother?

Ibid

So shall we bring to the need of India great fearless women — women worthy to continue the traditions of Sanghamittâ, Lilâ, Ahalyâ Bâi, and Mirâ Bâi — women fit to be mothers of heroes, because they are pure and selfless, strong with the strength that comes of touching the feet of God."

CW: Vol. 5 Interviews: On Indian Women (p.231)